Preface

I wrote this post unpublished in mid-March in very different circumstances than it is now that it’s live. Since drafting this content two months ago, it has become alarmingly evident that we cannot count on the government to reliably protect women’s right to full healthcare services, including abortions. That means it’s more important now than ever for women to take even more proactive, preventative care of themselves in their sexual health. The concept of the Slut Clutch can help in these scary times. Now, onto the original writing.

Hey, quick tip for the girls in the back: if you stay single throughout your youth, you’ll probably learn how to be a responsible single young adult. Hi, hello. Welcome to this week’s post :)

After leaving a (too) long-term relationship over the summer of 2021, I found myself learning things I should have known much earlier about enjoying a single lifestyle, but at the ripe old age of 26.5. Not only of the oh-so-sexy health and safety variety, but what sexual ownership means outside of a relationship. Plot twist, those things are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

This blog post is about a little something I call a Slut Clutch. No, I am not calling me or you a slut- I am a marketer by heart, let me have this. This is an idea of one of my most cherished friends, Krystal, who is ready for literally any scenario this world could throw her. That including, sexual spontenaity.

I am going to take a pause to recognize that never in a million fucking years would I imagine myself writing something so outright on on my beloved, VISIBLE platform. Then I realized, maybe if I had seen something like this before I would have felt more certain in uncertain situations.

Here is what I recognize in the risk of writing this. Can my employer, my family, my ex’s family see this? Yes. Do I feel more committed to sharing my learnings with fellow women and normalizing sex in regular conversation? Absolutely. And so we begin.

The origin story

Angie of the past found herself slipping into relationships with people who she didn’t even like that much, and stayed for far too long. Cool? COOL.

I ended my last relationship of nearly 7 years to the tune of, “you aren’t meeting my needs”. Knowing that the personal/emotional changes I needed to see in him were so fundamental that it would be unrealistic to expect it, and I left with the knowingness that I will attract someone who can meet me where I am.

I realize finding that person would take time and trial and error. All the while, I wanted to enjoy the luxury that I have never known of being single in my 20s. And LET. ME. TELL. YOU. I have I been doing the damn thing…I got on all the apps, using the full breadth of my skill as a Product Marketer to market the shit out of this 55.2% Italian import. I’ve never had a bad date, and truly loved meeting new people and having new experiences as I rewrite the narrative of romantic possibilities.

A few months ago, I felt like I had reached the natural end with the apps. I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time, and the talking stages of texting constantly was taking too much of my time. Precious time that I wanted to spend on my career and personal development, and ultimately, I knew that I wouldn’t meet the man I would be with long term on an app. He has a business to run, a conference to attend, meetings to take. He is NOT on these apps. I knew this to be true, and growing exhausted of the constant swiping on men holding fish and attending one singular wedding, I deleted all the apps and made room for natural connection to grow.

OF. FUCKING. COURSE That was the moment where things took a turn toward the sexual. My residual roster became a wham bam thank-you ma'am graveyard, and I wanted approach those situations with the discerning thoughtfulness that I put into everything else. I was talking with with my aforementioned gal pal Krystal, and the Slut Clutch was born.

What is a Slut Clutch?

A pouch that you can carry with you that fits in any bag you own, that holds everything you need to feel safe in your sexual experience.

How to build one

First, everyone needs one of these. Single or committed. The entire premise of this bag is gifting yourself the freedom to enjoy the depth and breadth of vulnerability, no matter where you are or who you are with. The Slut Clutch is determined by your sense of peace. Building a Slut Clutch around this criteria may be the first time you consider what makes you feel safe beyond contraception. Ask yourself these questions, and answer honestly without shaming your needs.

What makes my body feel safe to enjoy my sexuality?
What makes my mind feel safe to enjoy my sexuality?
What makes makes an environment feel safe to enjoy my sexuality?
What makes you feel safe before and after a sexual experience?

Once you have a good idea of what makes you feel safe, pick your clutch and fill it!

TIP: pick a Clutch that you can confidently place on someone’s kitchen counter. You are more likely to use what’s in there if you don’t feel embarrassed to have it visible.

What’s in mine

Out of example, I am happy to share my Slut Clutch. But remember that it’s contents is a result of my contemplations from the questions above. If some, none, or all of the things I included make your body, mind, and environment feel safe before, during and after something sexual, include them or exclude them! Travel sizes of all of these things make this a light and easy pack.

bottle of water
makeup remover
condoms
cleansing cloths
coconut oil packets
fresh garments
gum
rollerball perfume
scrunchie
ziploc bag for worn garments and trash
lip balm
mini hair brush
phone charger

Even if you don’t make one of these things and take it with you everywhere like I do, I hope the concept of the Slut Clutch allowed you to think about sexual experience a little differently. That we can, in fact, be intently searching for our long-time love, but also enjoy sexual experience along the way that prioritizes our minds, bodies, and boundaries. Thanks for reading something a little bit different from me, and I’ll see you here again soon!